DEEP THOUGHTS - DISSAPOINTMENT

Disappointment Can Be Refreshing

“See the opportunity in every disappointment and setbacks becomes part of your success story” – Jilams Odigwe

In 2008, Chelsea lost to Manchester United at the finals of the UEFA Champions league. It was their first ever final at the competition and they gave it their all only to have victory snatched from them by a miskick from their captain, John Terry during the penalty shootouts. The state of agony in the air would be loud at that moment, the pain of defeat so heartwrenching and the tears of disappointment so pitiful. However they must have realized that life doesn’t end there because three years later, they were crowned champions of Europe. What about the previous loss? If they were to be reminded, their reaction would be so jovial which is a complete opposite of when they lost it.  This is the story of everyone who has tasted disappointment and still succeeded.

The general concept of disappointment is that it is a negation or deviation from an expected end or optimistic result. However, what if it is a step towards the desired end or result?, a subplot to a success story rather than an obstacle. Let look at it critically, disappointment comes when one fails to achieve a goal or dream, now it doesn’t mean it’s bad, it just means he has to try harder or better.  As the saying goes “no smoke without fire”, so also there cannot be a success story without a few bumps on the way.

Everything in life, the good and the challenging is for our development and admonition, hence why should disappointment be any different? Those who dwell on it do themselves a great disservice because they fail to grasp any meaning from their and also fail to understand the dynamics of life: that life continues and disappointment is a propeller for desired results.

Disappointment should been seen as a catalyst. As part of every individual’s success story, it should be exploited for it’s obscure “good” and utilize for it’s motivational purpose. The development and admonition should be noted and learned for future reference. When you change the concept of disappointment from setbacks to sessions of opportunities, you see the world differently and just like they say “Every disappointment would become a blessing”.

Therefore look for the opportunities imbedded in every disappointment and don’t be overwhelmed by its appearance or by emotions every time you are faced with one. That is how you write your success story and laugh at the end.

Disappointment can be refreshing, not dwelling on it is what makes it refreshing

DEEP THOUGHTS - Relationship outside marriage

Relationship outside marriage: a death trap

A scene before me almost moved me to tears. A young couple since the beginning of their marriage have always been at loggerheads with each other. The husband keeps a woman outside his home and the wife has to put up with it for the sake of their two children, the eldest almost three (3) years old. Things escalates to the point when the husband beats up his wife because of his girlfriend and now wants to stay with the mistress. He is however restrained physically by his own family members especially his mum who had earlier supported his extra-marital affairs.

This is the state of some relationships and marriages in society today. Where one party feels free to do anything not caring that he/she hurt their partner/spouse. Marriage as a sacred institution has been desecrated and polluted on the altars of Immorality that its values are no longer sacrosanct in the society. A marriage is one in which a man and a woman come together to build, support, love and cherish each other despite their acute differences and shortcomings. The moment you engage in acts that destroys this arrangement is the moment you start destroying the foundation upon which marriage is built upon and in most cases is infidelity.

 Infidelity is simply the act of being unfaithful to your spouse and being unfaithful breeds distrust, which leads to resentment, full blown hatred and division in the family. This being the outcome of infidelity, is it really worth it? Is a little impulse craving worth a lifetime of regret and distrust? These are questions anybody should ponder on before engaging in such acts.

You cant eat your cake and have it, which is why whoever engages in extra-marital affairs and feel that they can get away with it or that they are hurting their spouse can never get away with it and in the end, they hurt themselves more than their partners because pride wont let them ask for forgiveness when they eventually regret their actions and thus all manner of depression, loneliness, anxiety, desperation becomes their closest companion. Is that a life worth living?

It is time to do away with excuses that he is not as attractive as before or she is not sexually appealing to you as in times past. You need to understand that for the fact that you are married means you are responsible for your partner’s wellbeing.: physically, mentally, psychologically, etc.

She is putting on weight, encourage her to shed some, he is not sexually active, help him out. she is no longer interesting, find new and team-oriented interests for you both. Marriage is a responsibility, so you have to work hard to protect each other and if you are not feeling responsible, no problem just don’t get married to prevent resentful spouse, broken himes and spiteful children.

Infidelity has never brought happiness, rather it has destroyed so many homes too numerous to count. It is the no 1 enemy of marriage and spouses must avoid it at all costs.

“I promise to love and honour you, in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer…….. till death do us part”. The moment you say those words, you have taken a life that requires you to be at the attention of one partner, not many. So please if you cannot abide by this words, just don’t put someone through the fire all in the name of conventions 

DEEP THOUGHTS

Not Everyone Is A Leader, But Everyone Is The Leader

As confusing as it may seem, every word of it is true. If you can understand that in whatever position you are in life, you have so much influence as those leading you, then you would have understood the true meaning of being a leader and stop feeling inadequate or incomplete about yourself. Big corporations with their teeming number of employees always have brilliant, intelligent, creative people in charge, but all these qualities will be for nothing without the skills and expertise of their staff who are indirectly leaders in their specialty. This is why it is very important here to stress the meaning and importance of being a leader so as not to fall prey to those who have myopic opinion about it.

According to Wikipedia, being a leader means defining and exhibiting moral and ethical courage and setting an example for everyone. It helps you teach leadership skills to your employees who will then help do the “heavy lifting” of moving the company from where it is today to where it needs to be in the future. This definition stress on qualities, not positions. It is centered on attitude of every individual. It is not limited to specific people even within an organization neither does it hit on control of another individual. It summarizes a leader as someone whose attributes are a model to others.

Since the beginning of time, man was created to dominate circumstances, challenges and creation. He was never created to dominate his fellow man, rather they were expected overcome various difficulties together no matter their social status. If therefore, you are in charge of a group of people and you think that as a leader, you should control them instead of motivating them, then you are doomed to fail from the start.  

A leader is not a dictator, but a co-ordinator, he is an organizer, not the unquestionable Delphi oracle. A leader assembled the expertise of others to achieve a common goal because of their expertise and leadership in their respective fields. Infact, a leader should henceforth be defined as one who ensures that all other leaders’ efforts have been maximized for collective benefit.

Wherever you are and in whatever situation you find yourself, you are a leader. If the person in charge doesn’t see it, make them see it with your sincere dedication and commitment. A leader is not a coward, so don’t be one and most importantly, a leader must have the quality of contentment not covetousness, he is expected to be ambitious, but not greedy. This is why when you follow people who present opportunities that are mathematically possible, but realistically impossible, you become greedy and covetous: two quality a leader must shun.

If you have a goal to start something, all well and good, but don’t follow people who encourage others to be independent all in the name of “you are a leader” and yet they cant pinpoint their source of income or outline any tangible achievement. They are not role models.

You are a leader in your place of work or anywhere you find yourself, whether you are in charge or not. The work you do makes you a leader because if you were not able to do it, there will be a breakdown in maximum result. Therefore don’t degrade your skill, it is what makes you a leading consultant in that area. It is what sets you apart. 

DEEP THOUGHTS - LIFE IS A RESPONSIBILITY

Living Is A Responsibility

This is a concept obscure to many individuals today. Everyday, we are always thankful to be alive and in good health that we have a duty to perform to humanity being alive. The sooner we understand this, the less wastage to be incurred in the course of living. According to Susan Heathfield “You are totally responsible for your life. This is the foundational principle you must embrace if you plan for happiness and success in your life and work”.

Therefore, being alive means we have a duty to ourselves and to others around us to be responsible all round. It doesn’t give you the opportunity to be indifferent or carefree with no purpose. It means the space you occupy must be filled with activities which have a positive impact to others. Your space or corner around you should not just be occupied but productive.

People today are yet to understand that their life is a responsibility, that they don’t exist in isolation. That their goals, objectives, actions and inactions affect others around them. They are yet to grasp that their inactivity is bound to drag others especially family behind and that making unnecessary excuses for failure only worsen the situation thereby impeding both themselves and others for making progress. 

 This attitude is unsettling and damaging especially in relationships where he/she feels a sense of entitlement and therefore slacks and become lazy in his/her duty. This breeds regret and disrespect because the moment one becomes an “overbearing” burden with an illogical sense of entitlement, there is bound to be disagreement.

The call to being aware that our lives carries a huge responsibility is not a marketing one, but a healthy one. People who take complete responsibility of their lives experience happiness and peace of mind. The fact that your life is a productive and you are not a burden to others makes one to have a healthy dose of self confidence and self esteem. The realization that your actions and decisions do not impede others’ progress makes you a blessing.

One understands the responsibility of his existence on earth when he becomes cautious of his actions. When he understands that he is responsible for his decisions and does not blame others, when he does not make excuses for his failures, when he does not become a burden and lastly when he does not give up.

Someone who is aware of this and makes it his lifestyle will be model worthy of emulation. This is a healthy call. When you understand the responsibility of living, you will learn to appreciate life itself. it is that simple to recall and satisfying when acted upon. 

DEEP THOUGHTS - IT'S OKAY

It Is Okay…But It Is Not Okay

It's okay to feel that you are living below your expectation, it is okay to feel that your dreams are a long way from reality, It's okay to feel inferior amongst your more successful peers. It is also okay to doubt yourself so often that you lose all form of patience, but it is not okay to lose focus. Focus is the broad spectrum which guides the goals and plans of every individual. Once you lose focus, your goals and plans start drifting in the violent storms of life until they eventually sink. Focus is like a steering wheel that guides you.

It's okay to feel humiliated and debased, it is okay to be disappointed, it is okay to be demeaned and made to feel worthless by your fellowman, It is okay to be ignored and made to feel as if you are a non-existent entity. It is also okay when you feel you are a burden and that whatever you do is not good enough thereby damaging your self confidence, but it is not okay to accept them as your fate. Instead, you should strive to be better. This is the bedrock of self love which can in turn repair your self confidence. It is the preservation of a healthy mind, body and soul.

It's okay to feel unloved, to be betrayed by people to the point where every breath is a reminder of that betrayal. It's okay to experience pangs of depression that it seems like giving in becomes the most viable and welcome solution. It is okay to be discouraged to the point where victories are hard to come by despite your valiant efforts. It is okay to be so overwhelmed by this that you start feeling suspicious of everyone around you, but it is not okay to give up. Let the odds be stacked against you by 99-1,never give up!

 Giving up may seem like the most logical conclusion, but I can assure, it is not and when you give up, your troubles may be over, but people will remember you as one with a spine, not one with a spectacular story to his name.

It is okay to feel and be abandoned , it is okay to feel and be isolated by those closest to you, it is okay to be overcome by worry and that your anxiety is like a net choking the life and freedom out of you, but it is not okay to remain isolated. Stories never attribute one bit of their success to isolation, but to teamwork.  

Be focused, have unlimited love for yourself, never give up and be an indispensable team player. Nurture them and they will protect you, maintain it and victory is always yours. In the end, everything comes boils down to the fact that;

"It is okay to be down, but it is not to be downed."

DEEP THOUGTHS - THE SOLACE IN OUR ADDICTION

MONDAYS 10AM

The Solace In Our Addiction

Anytime the word “addiction” is being spoken or raised in a gathering, various thoughts mostly negative begin to form in our minds. It is either the person is an abuser of drugs and other drug related substances or addicted to illicit materials or acts like pornography, masturbation, etc. Although the above mentioned are harmful to the physical and psychological wellbeing of an individual, it is not the whole definition of the term “addiction” as popular opinions have made it to be, neither is it only associated to social and immoral vices prevalent today.

The scope of the term “addiction” is so large that an average person fails to understand the broad length it covers or the wide ranges it reaches. A brief research into the meaning of addiction by medical practitioners or philosophers summarily defines it as a disease or sickness and one notable observation which piqued my interest was the theory that most people who have symptons of addiction also have at least one accompanying mental problem. Thank God it was an observation and not a given.

The concept of addiction in this context is that which is enduring and does not have a quick fix or withdrawal symptom. It is a task that when accomplished doesn’t just give a quick pleasure but a lasting satisfaction. Take for example, an individual who cant stop himself from helping people even when it is not convenient or a CEO obsessed with beating his previous records. Those are signs of addiction and one would therefore be right to classify them as addicts and yet they are the kind of people worth emulating. Therefore, is it right to view addiction as a disease or sickness as the medical practitioners or philosophers puts it.

Addiction is the lifestyle of every individual. It makes up our belief, shapes our values and ideals, guides our emotions. This is why people who are successful always follow a certain set of principle or pattern which they believe is the key to their success. Even parents’ love for their children and vice-versa has some form of addictive tendencies borne out of emotion and responsibility. Where everyone sees addiction as a disease, I see it as a habit which becomes second nature to man meant to satisfy a desire (good) or an impulse bad).   

It is impossible to separate man from addiction because our perpetual habits and inclinations tend to be addictive. Which is why recovering alcoholic/drug addicts are advised to always find new habits which will hopefully replace old habits and addictions.

The only similarity between negative and positive habits (addiction) is that it brings solace and satisfaction to the individual, but a clear distinction among them is that the result of negative habits is temporal solace, while that of positive habits is lasting satisfaction.

Although it may hurt to be positive addicted because the gains are slow in coming, it will be an enduring satisfaction in the end. Which is why this new year, drop old and negative habits, develop new and positive habits, have patience and belief in the new habits and you will see the reward this year.

DEEP THOUGHTS - Don’t Understand, Don’t Criticize

MONDAYS 10AM

Don’t Understand, Don’t Criticize

It is easy to criticize, but rewarding to understand – Odigwe Jilams

This is for those who have a mind that is as delicate as a doe. If you don’t understand the reason behind a person’s actions, rather than follow the multitude to vent and rant, do yourself a favour and abstain from criticism. The urgency to condemn and criticize someone without getting full facts is one trait that is common among humans today and with the advent of social media platforms, one illogical, insensitive rant could become the truth once it goes viral.

Everybody always feel they have an opinion or a way, a person should react whenever he is under pressure or in any uncomfortable situation. They don’t even bother to put themselves in the shoe of the victim, but make themselves judge, jury and executioner and when they eventually get the whole truth, they either don’t believe or they twist to justify their own criticisms, which tend to uphold the saying that “bad news travel faster than good news”.

It is never in any man’s place to condemn or judge someone else's decisions or actions especially when you don’t know the whole story and most importantly, when you have the facts, it is savage and barbaric for you to debase and humiliate your fellow man because of his mistakes because all humans are prone to mistakes and you may not fare better if you commit the same error or worse.

If you must criticize, you must have all the fact around you, not conjectures. You must have a clear understanding of their reason, not assumption and above all, if you must correct, you must also show empathy because he is also human and his behavior and inclination may be born of physical and psychological experience that enables him to function in his/her environment and the society. 

This should be the one of the major change in the new year. Instead of policing the lives of  people you hardly know, channel that same energy to examining and putting your life right. You must learn to understand if we are to judge rightly. You must learn to know if we are to criticize constructively and you must learn to empathize if we are to help one another. You must not abuse your fundamental right to speech and freedom of expression to the detriment of others.

Majority of the people who condemn and judge are people who are narrow-minded, frustrated and busybodies. Their only purpose in life is to surf the web and find a story they can vent their frustration on, which should not be your attitude this new year. They feel that being able to talk without restraint portrays confidence, whereas it defines them as myopic and empty-headed fellows who thrive on the misery of others.

They don’t know how to listen before they reply and they don’t understand before they talk. This should be a thing of the past in this new year and you should focus all that energy on developing yourselves and helping others. Therefore, be wise and apply wisdom in all things.

DEEP THOUGHTS - I BELIEVE IN TOMORROW

EVERY MONDAY 10AM

I Believe In Tomorrow

Belief is a reality waiting to be acted on – Odigwe Jilams

Whenever you wake up to a new day, there is this resurgence of strength, newness of spirit and belief in the prospects of the day even when it is still young. It is also seen as a chance to start anew and you go into the day with the hope that you can right the mistakes of the past with the day. This feeling is what, all over the world, is being experienced or expressed as we enter the new year.   

There is the belief, for some, that this year will be better than the previous year(s), for others, that all the losses of the previous year will be recouped and that mistakes and failures will be amended and rectified never to be repeated again, while, for majority, it is a chance to start anew.

However, in exhibiting these beliefs and hope, you must understand that it does not stop there. There must be effort made to translate this belief into reality. There must be a conscious effort not to repeat the same attitude or lifestyle that hindered your progress in the previous year.

 Just as the saying goes - “Madness is doing the same over and over again and expecting a different result”, you cannot therefore keep believing and hoping and then do nothing else. There is no magic about it, you will end up with the same result of the previous year or even worse.

Therefore, just as it is important to believe, it is also important to work towards the achievement of that belief. Believing in tomorrow is a two way street, not a one way ticket. You must believe and work; there is no alternative to it.

It is a wonder how so many people exhibit tremendous belief about the possibilities of the new year without a corresponding amount of work. They go about making “new year resolutions” to that effect, but that is all they do, where it ends for them. They don’t work toward the implementation of their resolutions and yet, they expect a different result.

Life is dynamic and changes to your status can only come when one develops a dynamic lifestyle. If an attitude or ethic has not been favorable, you should make effort to know why, and if it is a limitation, you discard it.

Good, favorable things don’t come to people who just believe and do nothing or to people who are stagnant and choose to remain as they are, but to people who move, who are dynamic.

When you keep believing without acting, it will lead to frustration, despair, depression, etc none of which are beneficial to the human body or soul. Therefore, it is high time we start channeling our belief into reality. The beautiful prospects of tomorrow are actually true, achievable and available for all who make an effort to grasp it.

Therefore, one must work for it and be resilient. Believe and work and you will see the reward of both. What I say to you, I say also to myself. Let us adopt this strategy of believing and working together and share our success story at the end of the year, but for now it is Happy new year from me to you.

DEEP THOUGHTS - ADVANCE IN ADVERSITY

EVERY MONDAY 10AM

Advance In Adversity

Imagine after an eventful day at work, on your way home there is an excruciating  gridlock, one which makes breathing difficult. Yet, you have to endure for hours at a stretch because, you desperately want to be home and you know that despite it's tolls on you, you can't give up on getting to your beautiful abode.

Hence,  you exercise patience, show restraint where necessary and go through all the rigors because of your goal - getting home to enjoy the coziness of your home.

 This is similar to the journey everyone who has or is about to achieve his/her life goals or dreams goes through or must go through.

The above illustration serves as the focus of this discourse briefly, but clearly depicts the direction everyone’s journey takes, most especially when he/she has a set goal(s).

There is no success or accolade in life without any form of difficulty, setback, etc. 

The point I'm making is that, adversities should not stop anyone from making progress, rather, it should trigger your resourcefulness. Not limit your potential and not blur your eyes off the target/goals.

 In fact, whenever you see or encounter adversity, it is an indication or signal that it is the moment to advance. It may seem difficult and prove to be insurmountable, just advance. It may even look like there is never going to be a solution to that pending problem, still advance. That a problem appears unconquerable is the more reason you should never stop making attempts at working it out.

In this new year, there will be tons and tons of adversities which will come in all shapes and forms to prevent you from achieving your set goals for the year. It could be in the form of going back to old habits, blaming others for your setbacks, indulging in wasteful vices, etc. The truth, is that they will always surface whether you like it or not!

This means that, although old habits and lifestyle may try to deter your progress and advancement this year, you must not let them overwhelm or deter you, just like the individual who endured the traffic jam just so he could get home.

 You must always remember that advancing, no matter the pace is very crucial to our succeeding in life. Also, keep in mind that, the reason you persistently advance is because no matter the pressure, the goal/target is worth the trouble.

If you can imbibe this attitude in the new year, it will be a year of joyous moments for you , filled with achievements, progress and growth. Therefore, let the watchword this year be advance in/despite/through adversities and see the difference.

What I say unto you, I say unto myself.

DEEP THOUGHTS - THE ART OF DECISION MAKING

The Art Of Decision making

The art of decision making is more natural than artistic. It is only when those decisions are successfully executed do we attribute artistic qualities to it. Decision making is not new in any individual’s life. It is an action or practice we as humans can’t live without. In fact its importance can be likened to our indispensable need for air to breathe.

However, even though decision making is a vital component of human activity, there are times that some decisions made have had adverse effects on us and even the people around us. Those effects can bring discouragement, frustration, depression especially if those decision made have accompany stigma attached to it. The effect makes us scared and very reluctant in future decision making.

The truth is that just as there is no smoke without fire, so also there must be mistakes made from decisions which should serve as a lesson. Also just as the above quote illustrates making a decision not to make a decision means you have already made a decision to be completely unproductive and redundant in life. You become deadweight and occupy space.

Moreover, It is in making mistakes when making decisions and learning from them that your decision making becomes flawless. This is true for people from all works of life. Whether it is in our home, businesses, careers, etc. you will always have to make decisions which may not going as planned,  but as you continue, you will see that those mistakes would come to you in different forms and scenarios and this time around, you will know the right decision to make because you are experienced and have learned.

Just as I said at the beginning, the art of  decision making does not mean all round perfectness. Even artworks with all its appeal still have some flaws in them. So also is it with decision making. If you have a goal or target, constantly and consistently, you would always make decisions to reach it. So why get afraid or reluctant because of one mistake?? If those goals or targets you have set matters to you, you would rather choose to learn from the mistake than to avoid it altogether.

The reason why I termed decision making an art is because art is beautiful and aesthetic and when your decision making reaches a stage when it’s almost flawless, adaptive and inch-perfect, you would not be criticized nor corrected for describing it as artistic or work of art. Therefore, even as a work of art may undergo so many rough stages and processes, also our decision making would undergo so many harsh realities of life before it can become beautiful and almost flawless.

DEEP THOUGHTS - MY FATE IS IN MY HANDS

MONDAYS 10AM

My Fate Is In My Hands

It is important that people don’t see the above as a nice cliché or phrase, but as a way of life. If possible, it should be the creed of every individual on earth. No one on earth has the power to decide your fate, predict it and/or control it, not even our parents. The highest anyone can influence your life is to objectively show you all your choices, possibilities and challenges. The decisions to take then rest entirely on you alone.

Tiger Woods, the famous golfer is a perfect example of someone who decided his own fate and didn’t listen to the ramblings of others. At the age of 42, he had gone through a messy divorce, had over eight major surgeries most of which were on his back, pulled out of tournaments prematurely, ranked below #1000 in the golf ranking, etc.

He was seen as a write off. So many people with their carefully crafted arguments laced with facts and figures gave him enough reason(s) to quit, but he just ignored their rantings and made them eat their own words by once again winning a competitive Golf tournament at the age of 42.

Who is your fellow man to decide your fate? What powers or foresights does he have to dictate to someone what he can or can’t do/achieve? Has he/she finished deciding theirs? Anyone ready to convince you to the extent of limiting you is not your friend. Infact in this context, a friend is someone who can voice his/her reservations about your choices and decisions, yet will still go out to support you.

These are the kind of friends we should surround ourselves with and that is the extent to which everyone including parents should go in supporting their children’s dreams, goals and choices. The truth is that anyone saying you cannot do better than what you are doing is trying to reassure himself/herself that since he couldn’t do better, he can at least tell people what to do and what not to do, thereby controlling others.

When you stop listening to people’s subjective logical advices, there is no limit to what you can do. Who would have thought that Tiger Woods would win a competitive Golf competition after five years? But he did.

Controlling your fate makes your potentials limitless. It makes you break records, set the pace, raise the bar and makes you a phenomenon. Therefore, control your fate and make your choices today and you will be glad you did.

DEEP THOUGHTS - CONSISTENCY IS KEY

MONDAYS 10AM

Consistency Is Key

A professor once told me in class that you can turn your passion to profession. One thing he neglected to mention is the need to posses the attitude of consistency to achieve this cycle. Consistency is very important in every life’s decisions, progress, dreams, goals and ambitions. Everyone will always have a passion or dream, but consistency is what makes that passion or dream a reality and propels it to unimaginable heights.

Consistency is very essential to human existence but it has been grossly overlooked that its importance is not obvious to the average man. According to the Longman dictionary of Contemporary English, “Consistency is the quality of always being the same, doing the same things in the same way, having the same standards, etc”. The Oxford living dictionaries also define consistency “as the quality of achieving a level of performance which does not vary in quality over time.

Both are correct as consistency in one’s chosen endeavor produces quality overtime. However, consistency as seen in the definition also requires patience, focus, conviction amongst others to be effective. It therefore means that there is no two ways about it because someone must be consistently patient, consistently convinced and consistently focused to achieve his heart desires.

In Nigeria today, research has shown that so many small scale businesses don’t last up to three years even with the best plans possible. Various reasons were given, but I sometimes ask myself if one major reason was lack of consistent patience. That the issue of trying to get the money quickly and since it is not happening, they become discouraged and pack it up.

Let’s take a cue from African’s richest man, Alhaji Aliko Dangote. In an interview, he revealed that it took him over 30 years to get to where he is today. THAT IS CONSISTENCY!!!!!!. He had a business plan and backed it up with patience and consistency.

Consistency makes you become pro-active. Even if your plans were the best, they will subject to be change because of the dynamic environment we live in. This is where being able to adapt, be creative and also to adjust comes in.

Discouragement and distractions will be numerous and all around you to hinder you from your goals but when using Telescope to view a particular object in the sky, you consistently and continuously adjust your focus towards that particular object until all its surrounding celestial bodies are insignificant specks. That is the kind of approach we should have in life for us to succeed. We must consistently and continuously adjust our focus towards our goal till all the distractions become insignificant.          

 Therefore, seek consistency and you are one step closer to your goals.

DEEP THOUGHTS - THE UNKNOWN PATH

MONDAYS 10AM

THE UNKNOWN PATH 

“ No mountain is endless, some are more steeped than others…..” Elijah Mikealson.

 It is generally agreed that whatever has a beginning has an end and sometimes that end always leads to another beginning. This is one of the reasons human beings live with the uncertainty as to what step to take next. There is always the feeling of dread and misgivings when one embarks on a new adventure; metaphorically or figuratively.

Even the aged with all their experience in life still experience this same feeling especially those who believe in life after death. Same goes for the young ones about to start life all on their own and those who have embarked on daunting projects and have no idea which way it will go.

The truth is that all of us in life want to grow and forge ahead; we must take unfamiliar paths for us to succeed and even with much planning, it may not be enough. The end we get is always different from what we imagined; either it’s far better or much worse, but one must always undertake unknown journeys and in doing so, we must be able to have experience which we can use for the unknown journey.

We must also understand that all these journeys are part of our life’s existence; therefore succeeding and failing enables us to grow, reduces our fear of uncertainty and trepidation and increases our confidence in succeeding no matter the obstacles we may encounter. Also even when we fail, we must realize that there will be another path for us to explore, another opportunity to succeed and another chance to learn - even in old age.

Just like Nelson Mandela in his book Long Walk to Freedom, "For my long walk is not yet done".

Therefore, everyone who is faced with so many unknown paths must understand that whatever path he undertakes, he will surely gain whether he succeeds or fails.

DEEP THOUGHTS - Keep The Faith, Not The Fate

MONDAYS 10 AM

Keep The Faith, Not The Fate

This is for all those going through one form of adversity or the other yet still have it in mind to continue to keep the faith and embrace their fate.

In the world today, many people strive so hard, for so long, then they give up believing that their present circumstance, is their fate. Those who observe the dynamics of this world understand that it’s not static. There is always something better and beautiful it seeks ahead and they therefore have to strive for their own beautiful and better future.

Scientists, leaders, entrepreneurs; leading men in various spheres of life became renowned not by being content with “the failures of their fate, but with the fortunes of their faith”. They made their own fate and made it subject to their faith. How did they do it?

First, they had faith in themselves and their abilities. No one who wanted to impact the world had room for doubt when action was required. For people like Thomas Edison and Ben Carson, it was the building up of their faith in themselves that made them succeed, not accepting their fate. Therefore, there must be an intense amount of faith in oneself almost to the point of over-confidence.

Another thing about having faith in oneself is having a laser-like focus and not being distracted. Distractions blind the determination of an individual and come between him/her and the solution or success.

This is the point where some people give up and say it's their fate not to get a beneficial end to their struggles, which is very unfortunate. We must note that distractions always occur and when they're at their highest, that is when the benefit is just a curve away. Therefore overcome distractions, have faith in yourself, decide your fate and nothing will be impossible to you.

To those who are still striving to get to their desired end, I say continue. Just one more effort; when your reward comes, it will make everything you have endured, worth it. But also remember me Oooh (smiles).

DEEP THOUGHTS - What Is The Right Choice

MONDAYS 10AM

What Is The Right Choice?

“You can be right to everyone sometimes, you can be right to some people all the time, but you can’t be right to everyone all the time”

 – Odigwe Jilams

The above question is a summary of the internal struggle we encounter everyday in life. It is as a result of the actions, decisions we take; time after time, day after day and when probably it doesn’t go as expected, questions like “Did I do the right thing”, “Did I make the right choice” assault our minds and invade our thoughts.

Being right is a very difficult attribute to pin-point. This is because some actions are wrong, but they are done in order to achieve the right results. E.g lying to cover up a teammate’s shortcomings to ensure optimum teamwork and a successful output.

This is where the “right thing” and the “right choice” have a slight difference in this context. This is because the right thing in the above example is to tell the truth, but the right choice is to make a decision that will positively affect teamwork which is why covering up the fault seems like the best way to achieve it.

What then is the right choice? Personally, it is simply acting or making decisions for the development and progress of everyone around you. Someone who makes decisions, putting into perspective it’s impact on others is someone I rather work or make friends with than someone who is solely engrossed in ensuring and proving they are right regardless of the consequences.

These second set of people are mostly selfish, self-centered and more often than not, their being right creates more harm than good.

Being right is not just about being stereotypical and robotically right.  It’s about knowing when to be right at the right time and also knowing when to be wrong so the right things can take place.  Imagine you arguing with an elderly person to prove he is right, even though the elder is wrong or arguing with your spouse to prove that you are right?

It’s just a recipe for disaster on your part. Your being right would cause more harm to your relationship/marriage even if you are right. What stops you from refraining and then revisiting the issue at a lighter mood. This is where being right requires wisdom.

Apart from wisdom, making the right choice also requires patience, knowledge and great deal of flexibility. Flexibility because with wisdom you will know when to let go and when not to be influenced by popular opinions or actions.

As the quote suggests, the right choice will not be appealing to everyone, because you can’t please everybody. However in life, you will always make choices that directly or indirectly affects people, no matter how hard you try to escape it, but if you can learn to make the choice that promotes selflessness on our part and most importantly appeases our consciences, we will be able to relate with our family, friends, co-workers, even random people and this will in turn makes us earn their respect.

Therefore, note that everyone makes decisions that have effect on our fellow man. We must endeavor in all our decisions to make the right choice that we can live with.

DEEP THOUGHTS - No One Owes Anything

MONDAYS 10 AM

No One Owes Anything 

“The only thing a man owes another is to objectively show him his options. The choice and results are his to bear” 

– Odigwe Jilams

This saying is true, but doesn’t mirror present life’s circumstances. Everybody knows in their hearts that no one not even the universe itself owes them anything, rather they are adept at playing the victim and persuasively blaming others for their faults and failures.

It is absurd to think that the reason for someone’s stagnancy in life is caused by another’s inactivity in their life. This is like attributing divine attributes to a mere mortal. What is so specific about a particular individual that warrants him being looked upon as a god and not you?

As the quote suggests, the best a man can do for his fellow man is to outline his options and the path he must follow. His choices and the subsequent results are his alone to bear. The truth is that if you always have this idea that a man/woman owes you something, then you are mostly selfish, self-centered and stingy.

They forget that those who they pin their hopes on, also have their own hurdles to overcome. How then will they solve yours when they are not through solving theirs? That is illogical.

Therefore friends, it's time to stop believing and acting like the universe or any man is indebted to you. If for nothing, it is you who owes the universe; to be productive and leave it better than you met it. Imagine a man being successful and his friend is not, you may not know how,  but it creates a psychological dilemma on whether he should help you especially if you are nonchalant or whether he should leave you.

This life may be hard, but it’s not immune to accomplishment. If possible, create a picture in your mind, see life as a human being, whose heart was broken and the ones who enjoyed it are those who had patience, persistence and perseverance and pampered it with optimism, while those who suffer are those who give up, suffers it’s neglect, anxiety and treat it with pessimism.

When you do that, you stop thinking of what this world should do for us and start thinking of how this world can benefit from your existence.

Being indebted makes you become a slave and it blurs your perception about right or wrong leaving you in perpetual servitude.