DEEP THOUGHTS - Relationship outside marriage

Relationship outside marriage: a death trap

A scene before me almost moved me to tears. A young couple since the beginning of their marriage have always been at loggerheads with each other. The husband keeps a woman outside his home and the wife has to put up with it for the sake of their two children, the eldest almost three (3) years old. Things escalates to the point when the husband beats up his wife because of his girlfriend and now wants to stay with the mistress. He is however restrained physically by his own family members especially his mum who had earlier supported his extra-marital affairs.

This is the state of some relationships and marriages in society today. Where one party feels free to do anything not caring that he/she hurt their partner/spouse. Marriage as a sacred institution has been desecrated and polluted on the altars of Immorality that its values are no longer sacrosanct in the society. A marriage is one in which a man and a woman come together to build, support, love and cherish each other despite their acute differences and shortcomings. The moment you engage in acts that destroys this arrangement is the moment you start destroying the foundation upon which marriage is built upon and in most cases is infidelity.

 Infidelity is simply the act of being unfaithful to your spouse and being unfaithful breeds distrust, which leads to resentment, full blown hatred and division in the family. This being the outcome of infidelity, is it really worth it? Is a little impulse craving worth a lifetime of regret and distrust? These are questions anybody should ponder on before engaging in such acts.

You cant eat your cake and have it, which is why whoever engages in extra-marital affairs and feel that they can get away with it or that they are hurting their spouse can never get away with it and in the end, they hurt themselves more than their partners because pride wont let them ask for forgiveness when they eventually regret their actions and thus all manner of depression, loneliness, anxiety, desperation becomes their closest companion. Is that a life worth living?

It is time to do away with excuses that he is not as attractive as before or she is not sexually appealing to you as in times past. You need to understand that for the fact that you are married means you are responsible for your partner’s wellbeing.: physically, mentally, psychologically, etc.

She is putting on weight, encourage her to shed some, he is not sexually active, help him out. she is no longer interesting, find new and team-oriented interests for you both. Marriage is a responsibility, so you have to work hard to protect each other and if you are not feeling responsible, no problem just don’t get married to prevent resentful spouse, broken himes and spiteful children.

Infidelity has never brought happiness, rather it has destroyed so many homes too numerous to count. It is the no 1 enemy of marriage and spouses must avoid it at all costs.

“I promise to love and honour you, in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer…….. till death do us part”. The moment you say those words, you have taken a life that requires you to be at the attention of one partner, not many. So please if you cannot abide by this words, just don’t put someone through the fire all in the name of conventions 

Jilams Odigwe is an enthusiastic writer who borders the line between a realist and optimist. His love for art is fluid, which makes Bon vivant of some sort...

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