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MONDAYS 10AM
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THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL
“…Learning to love
yourself is the greatest love of all...” the late Whitney Houston was such a
genius to have hidden this truth in her masterpiece. I cannot just get over the
song but more important are those lines above.
Whatever it was that
inspired Whitney to render this great song? The message will continue to echo
throughout history. The message of “Self-love” is like a catchphrase that
frequently pops up in our everyday conversations. You hear people say,
“you can’t love someone
until you have loved yourself”,
“Love yourself more”
etc.
These words, most times,
are spoken without basic and in depth understanding. Self love involves
building your self-esteem and self-image. Self-love majorly means not depending
on others for approval and also having an ideal self and working towards it.
According to
Psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, PhD “The idea is to use your ideal self as your
guide. To give you direction and hopeful outlook. We often depend on others for
validation, but it’s important to have your very own internal compass”.
Psychologically,
constantly feeling disgusted, depressed and frustrated with oneself can unleash
a cascade of events that can adversely affect one's mental health,
relationships, even his career and physical body. According to Ana Sandoiu,
'people who are perfectionists are at a higher risk of several illnesses -
physically and mentally'. Recent research suggests that, such people are prone
to cancer or heart diseases and they hardly recover from it.
Socially, self-love is
the foundation upon which all other values, ideals and relationships are built.
People fail to understand that Loving oneself determines who we allow into our
lives, the image we project at work and the manner in which we handle life’s
pressures. Imagine dwelling on errors and mistakes (grievous or infinitesimal)
which gradually reduces your self-confidence and introduces disgust and hatred
thus eliminating any form of self-love. Just because of mistakes and errors and
your inability to forgive yourself, you become your own greatest enemy?
Having self-love enables
one to make healthy choices and decisions preventing impulsive actions and
decisions under pressure. It eliminates jealousy, envy, greed, etc towards
others as you are genuinely happy about other people's progress in life. Self
love radiates so much it makes one appealing and attractive; since no one wants
to associate with a moody person.This is not just a self-esteem boosting piece
of advice. It’s the prerequisite for truly loving others. The Golden rule says,
“Love your neighbor as you love yourself”. This means that you cannot show love
to someone when you cannot do the same to yourself. Even if you do, the charade
won’t last forever. This further explains the importance of self-love as it
transcends all aspects of human life.
Finally, selflove
provides happiness, confidence and peace of mind which is transferred
consciously or unconsciously to others. Thus, you become a carrier of “good and
healthy pathogen”. As renowned motivational speaker, Bobbe Sommer said,
“Having a low opinion of
yourself is not modesty, it’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high
regard is not egotism, it’s a necessary pre-condition to success”.
Self love boosts self
confidence and esteem. Make a conscious effort to show yourself love from now
on. Till next time... Ciao.
- Odigwe Jilams.
Jilams Odigwe is an enthusiastic writer who borders the line between a realist and optimist. His love for art is fluid, which makes Bon vivant of some sort...
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