NIWCO LOVE LANE - HER HIDDEN PAIN

HER HIDDEN PAIN

My life is an unending cycle of pain. Ever since I got married my life has been in a dark limbo, rays of sunshine gone, balloons of joy bursted! Sometimes I ask myself why I got married. Someone please save me, I do not know what to do.
Adetunji and I met six years ago at a friend's birthday party. We were introduced and I was struck by his charming smile. Sincerely I was infatuated by him right there. I felt butterflies in my stomach, a current passed through me and my knees bucked when our hands touched.
I tried to retain his attention through out the party; I made sure he noticed me and how available I was. Tunji and I exchanged phone numbers. That night, really I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about Adetunji.
I waited impatiently for the customary 48hours before I pinged him so I did not want to come off as too bold. Fortunately, he replied and the chat conversation took off on a good note. Tunji asked me out on a date, I was so excited. Really, I felt like I had  known him forever. A single date turned into a steady relationship.
All my friends were so happy for me. Some were even envious because Adetunji Babalola was 'a great catch'. He was rich and handsome - the real deal.
A year and half into our relationship I became pregnant, it was totally unplanned but as a responsible man, Tunji proposed and married me two  months later. He told me that he was born a bastard and he will never allow any of his children to experience such. I was elated. Tunji made me feel like a princess throughout the pregnancy; I was so happy.
Now, I have come to accept that nothing truly lasts forever even happiness; after giving birth to Tiwatayo, nothing prepared me for the most  unpleasant surprise of my life. I truly did not see it coming, the man I love with every fibre of my being has made me a shell of my yesterday and  It all started on our second year anniversary of marriage.
I prepared a sumptuous delicacy for my man; Efo-riro and Amala, awaiting my husband from work but he was no where to be found.
My heart leapt in miles and bounds for his number was not reachable. I thought of so many evils that could have happened - of course I was troubled. It was the first time he was this late; 11pm and my Adetunji was not home yet; I waited. He came home perfectly sober the next day but couldn’t give me an explanation for his lateness. When he got dressed for work  by morning, I demanded a full explanation, he was tactiturn! By the time he came back from work that evening my anger had grown to fury. He didn’t even acknowledge our missed anniversary. I tried to get words from him through my words but in the space of a heart beat, Adetunji gave me two hot slaps. I was rendered speechless! He left me to his room. That was how it all began. He left for work and came home quite early with a forgiveness teddy bear and a box of cupcakes. Tunji knows I have a sweet tooth and of course I forgave him. I stopped asking where he was the night of our second year anniversary - I wanted peace in my home.
The fifth year of our marriage anniversary just passed and Adetunji still comes home very late especially on our anniversary nights, some times he doesn’t come home at all. Anytime I ask him, he beats me black and blue. My marriage anniversary has become a nightmare. This last one I fainted after been beaten. He left me there and went out, by the time I regained consciousness, he was gone and Tiwatayo was crying by my side. Yesterday he came back and bought me a brand new Mercedes car. He apologized on his knees and begged me to forgive his animalistic behavior.
Now I’m so confused, what do I do? It's been two years my husband performed his marital duty to me. I’m suffering and smiling and nothing seems to be working. I have prayed and even fasted secretly still I dread the coming anniversary or the next time he deems me suitable to be a punching bag. My friends are here now, oohing and aahing over my brand new car. I do not wish for my daughter to grow up in this type of home. I listen to radio talks and TV shows about domestic and emotional abuse. I want to quit this farce of a marriage not just for myself but for my 4 years old daughter. How do I go about this?


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