DEEP THOUGHTS

WEDNESDAYS 10AM

THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL 

“…Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all...” the late Whitney Houston was such a genius to have hidden this truth in her masterpiece. I cannot just get over the song but more important are those lines above.

Whatever it was that inspired Whitney to render this great song? The message will continue to echo throughout history. The message of “Self-love” is like a catchphrase that frequently pops up in our everyday conversations. You hear people say,

“you can’t love someone until you have loved yourself”,

“Love yourself more” etc.

These words, most times, are spoken without basic and in depth understanding. Self love involves building your self-esteem and self-image. Self-love majorly means not depending on others for approval and also having an ideal self and working towards it.

According to Psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, PhD “The idea is to use your ideal self as your guide. To give you direction and hopeful outlook. We often depend on others for validation, but it’s important to have your very own internal compass”.

Psychologically, constantly feeling disgusted, depressed and frustrated with oneself can unleash a cascade of events that can adversely affect one's mental health, relationships, even his career and physical body. According to Ana Sandoiu, 'people who are perfectionists are at a higher risk of several illnesses - physically and mentally'. Recent research suggests that, such people are prone to cancer or heart diseases and they hardly recover from it.

Socially, self-love is the foundation upon which all other values, ideals and relationships are built. People fail to understand that Loving oneself determines who we allow into our lives, the image we project at work and the manner in which we handle life’s pressures. Imagine dwelling on errors and mistakes (grievous or infinitesimal) which gradually reduces your self-confidence and introduces disgust and hatred thus eliminating any form of self-love. Just because of mistakes and errors and your inability to forgive yourself, you become your own greatest enemy?

Having self-love enables one to make healthy choices and decisions preventing impulsive actions and decisions under pressure. It eliminates jealousy, envy, greed, etc towards others as you are genuinely happy about other people's progress in life. Self love radiates so much it makes one appealing and attractive; since no one wants to associate with a moody person.This is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It’s the prerequisite for truly loving others. The Golden rule says, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself”. This means that you cannot show love to someone when you cannot do the same to yourself. Even if you do, the charade won’t last forever. This further explains the importance of self-love as it transcends all aspects of human life.

Finally, selflove provides happiness, confidence and peace of mind which is transferred consciously or unconsciously to others. Thus, you become a carrier of “good and healthy pathogen”. As renowned motivational speaker, Bobbe Sommer said,

“Having a low opinion of yourself is not modesty, it’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not egotism, it’s a necessary pre-condition to success”.

Self love boosts self confidence and esteem. Make a conscious effort to show yourself love from now on. Till next time... Ciao.

- Odigwe Jilams.

Jilams Odigwe is an enthusiastic writer who borders the line between a realist and optimist. His love for art is fluid, which makes Bon vivant of some sort...

All rights to this content is reserved, No part of this content may be used or reproduced in any form without the prior written permission of the writer, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and uses permitted by copy right law. For permission requests, email the media team at: nigerianwriterscolony@gmail.com