CROWDS
Hello to my dark skinned melanin queens, what we have on today's
topic is on fears.
I am not ashamed to say that I hate and I'm afraid of the
following things; Crowds, other girls, relationships, math (lol).
So let's start with my first fear, fear of crowds. As much
as I talk the big talk, I'm a hypocrite when it comes to facing a large crowd.
Worse is even if it's a group of about 6 to 7 people, I freeze up. Not like I
mean to, I just don't know what gets over me, I shut down, power out, all the
terms you can think of when referring to turning things off.
A recent real event that happened, I went to a little get together,
thinking I was over my fear of crowds. When I got there, I found about 6 people there. I could handle
that, I thought. Then people started tropping in . Soon, it was close to 15 or
20. I know some of you would read this and be like, 'just 15-20 people ? I know
they weren't much, but as soon as I realized the large number I started to shut
down, my heart was racing , I knew I had to leave. And I did. Without having a
slice of the beautiful cake I saw there .
My point in this is that, why do we black women find it hard
to over come agoraphobia ?
The first step they always say is: find the root of the
problem. So down to my roots.
When I was younger I was bullied, I remember vividly being pushed
down the stairs. A group of girls casting me aside for no apparent reason. Well
that was then. But now those feelings of being pushed aside, and being talked
about gets into my head. When I get to be in a crowd it's like everyone is about
to do something hurtful to me.
Honestly I would be a hypocrite to give a solution. So I
want to engage my lovely readers, what do you all think is the right solution to
this problem. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one in this. Let's help each
other out.
My beautiful melanin queens let's stand for each other.
Aisha is a young writer. She writes to promote everything about the African woman. And hopes to bring glory to the continent.
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